Do you ever get that feeling where you wake up in the morning, and you think it's going to be a really awesome day? You get out of bed, and you just feel really great. You know something good is going to happen to you. You think your day is going to go great, when all of a sudden, something happens that ruins your entire day.

Well, that day happened to me. I thought life was pretty swell. But it isn't so great anymore.

Have you ever had that happen to you?

It triggered a lot of emotions today. At first there was the feeling of happiness and joy. Moments later, it became to be feelings of sadness and utter disappointment. When you feel such extremes...what are you to do?

Well, I tried talking to people about it. Some people laughed, some people were pretty understanding.
The laughing/teasing. That got to me.

Why bother telling people if I'm going to get ridiculed?
I hate it when that happens.

They're supposed to be friends. Supportive, caring, kind. Totally the opposite though. It's sad, because I thought they'd be a tiny bit supportive, but they weren't. It's disappointing.

I want to bottle up how I feel, because it seems like there are less people to trust these days. Trust. Where can I find trust in friends nowadays?

People seem to be lacking it...well in my perspective. I'm not sure what to do. I wish things were good. I don't like feeling this way.

It was a new day. It was the start of a new day.
I grabbed my backpack, and started this new day.
I got to school early. I had time to stand around and reflect.
Reflect about what my classes had in store.
It was intense. Calculus, data management, and physics.
I thought this was going to be one hectic semester.
Track is starting soon. It's going to be even crazier!
As the day went on, my energy level started to die off.
You could tell I was pretty tired, and not in the mood to work.
I tried my best to pay attention in class. Some classes were really boring.
I got hungry in third and fourth period. Boy was I hungry.
I had lunch though. Wasn't a really big lunch.
Music was my therapy for today.
With the crazy classes, and loud students
I found time to just stand there
Put on my headphones,
and listen to the music that heals my soul.
When I had the music on
I knew my day wouldn't be so bad.
I wish I could start driving.
I want to have my insurance for the car!
I should stop being so impatient.
Things don't come that easily.
After school approaches.
And I'm filled with content!
Too bad after school is always a bad time.
Because there's homework...aw.
Calculus homework. Super duper fun!

Dear you,

So lately, I'm having problems with this thing called "Trust" and "honesty". Lately, you haven't been giving me much of either. What did I do to deserve something like this? Why are you doing this to me? Well, why even bother asking, you won't give me a direct answer anyways, well, not in person at least. I've waited a good three months, and I knew "this" wouldn't work at all. Why did I keep liking you for all this time you ask? It's not like I can just let these feelings fade away in a matter of days. I'm sure you tried to get over me. It was pretty obvious when you hung out with your ex at lunch, having the time of your life. Oh, don't mind me sitting by myself. I'm fine too. When we talk, and by no means do I mean when we talk in person, you avoid situations where I try and bring up serious topics. We never have a straight conversation, because you always try and ruin it by adding in a comment that'll try and make me laugh or whatever. It doesn't work. You only agitate me even more. I'm only trying to be nice, and not explode about how I feel when you do this. Three months. Three months is how long I've waited for you to tell me whether or not you've moved or not. I've had to find out the hard way, by seeing, and by having my friends tell me what they saw. First of all, you didn't mention you were currently in a relationship when we were getting to know each other in a flirty way. If I had known about this, I would have stopped immediately, because apparently your ex thinks I ruined your relationship with him, and it's probably true. I don't want to be the jerk/jackass who ruined so and so's relationship. I'm not that kind of guy. The funny part is, you still pursued him without telling me. What happened to being honest and truthful with each other? That musta slipped out ages ago, eh? I feel like i've been lied to. And I think I deserve to feel this way. For the past month you've been in one of those moods where you don't feel like talking to me at all on a personal level. But now you're suddenly exploding with flirting and webcams. I get what you're doing. The ex didn't want you back, so you're running back to me. I've already been hurt enough. Being hurt by you again isn't worth it, and I'm not taking that chance.

To build something that had great potential, but to only ruin it by your actions is disappointing. You had chances, but you never seized them. I just feel like a total loser because I let this go on for so long.



Writing letters about how you feel is one thing, but actually giving them to that person is whole other story.